We meet pick-me girls through every single phase of our lives. Back at school, they were usually the ones who fake-fainted all the time. Sounds like Bella from Twilight, right? In college, they were mainly the ones who sought guys’ attention through small appetites at gatherings, pretending not to know what makeup product you’re using. They’d be like: “What’s a mascara? How do we use it?,” all in an effort to catch guys’ attention. At office, your pick-me colleague might be the one who constantly plays the victim, as if being perpetually unwell or uninformed is a charm offensive. However, it works for some girls after all..
WHAT IS A ‘PICK-ME’ GIRL ANYWAY?
According to Urban Dictionary, a ‘pick-me’ girl is someone who craves male validation by distinguishing herself from other women. This often involves undermining or putting down other women to gain male approval. Essentially, pick-me girls are driven by a desire to be seen as different or special in the eyes of men, often at the expense of their own self-respect or solidarity with other women.
WHY DO THEY DO THIS?
Pick-me behavior is often rooted in deep-seated insecurities and a lack of self-worth. These individuals may feel that they need to belittle others or present themselves as different to gain attention and validation. By positioning themselves as the “not-like-other-girls” type, they believe they stand a better chance of attracting male interest. This behavior can also be a result of internalized societal pressures that equate female worth with male approval.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM
- Recognize the Behavior: Understanding the traits of a pick-me girl can help you navigate interactions with them more effectively. Awareness allows you to maintain boundaries and not be swayed by their tactics.
- Set Boundaries: If a pick-me girl’s behavior becomes overwhelming or intrusive, it’s important to set clear boundaries. Politely but firmly address any attempts to undermine or belittle others, and steer conversations away from their manipulative tactics.
- Encourage Positive Interactions: Foster environments where positive, supportive interactions are the norm. By promoting genuine, respectful relationships, you can help counteract the negative dynamics that pick-me behavior often thrives on.
- Avoid Complicity: Don’t engage in or perpetuate the behavior. If you see someone undermining others to gain approval, resist the urge to validate their tactics. Instead, support your peers and promote a culture of mutual respect.
