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“I Had My First Child at 45, Not So Cool..”

Navigating motherhood when you’re 40+

mothers

Just as we watch our babies grow, we also witness our mothers in different stages of life. Our earliest memories are of them as young women, vibrant and full of vitality. As time passed, we saw them age gracefully, their hair turning gray. But what about those whose mothers greeted motherhood later in life? When I was still a young child in kindergarten, I often wondered why other mothers looked different from mine. It took me years to realize that having an older mom is perfectly okay. For some, though, being born to a mom who had already embraced middle age can bring about feelings of loss and frustration.

mothers

People often consider the implications of having children later in life from a medical standpoint. Studies indicate that pregnancies at an older age may increase the risk of complications such as miscarriage, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and premature birth. Despite these concerns, we wanted to explore a different perspective today. It’s not just about the health risks for the mother and child; it’s also about how mothers themselves feel about their timing and how children perceive having an older mom.

To be more enlightened about it, we spoke to a group of mothers who gave birth after reaching the age of 40. Leaving our hearts melting and eyes watering, their stories provided us with poignant insights.

ZAINAB, 67: 

“I had my first girl when I was 26, and my last at 47.” “Now that my youngest is almost 20, I can tell she’s not very happy about it. And that grieves me a lot.” “How unfair it is, being capable of giving it all to one child and having nothing to give to another.. I used to play with my oldest one a lot. Unlikely, I spent almost no quality time with the youngest. What’s worse is that I fear she’ll never get to spend as much time as her siblings had with me.” “Time ticks by, and there’s no way we can stop it.”

AMINA, 70: 

“I got married at 41 and had my first–and only– kid at 44.” “I recall that time when my son asked me: Why didn’t you get pregnant with me earlier? He was 6 back then and didn’t understand that things don’t work that way. I could see it in his eyes that he was angry. I could tell all the things he wanted to say but never did. Simply, he wanted a younger mom who could have made his childhood more splendid.” “Watching most of my friends get married and having babies when they were barely 25, I was afraid marriage and motherhood would steal the joy in life. But I was wrong, because I figured out–only when it was too late–how much I wish I could have a dozen kids to grow up around me.”

MAGDA, 65: 

“There’s a huge age gap between my children. When I gave birth to my youngest, my eldest was getting engaged. Years passed and I woke up one day finding all rooms empty except for one. My youngest’s” “Had it not been for my girl, I would have lived the rest of my life in solitude. My husband passed away 10 years ago, and both my first girl and the middle got married 7 years ago, and now it’s me and my girl.”

MARIAN, 72: 

“Life has never been better. My husband and I struggled for 15 years to have a baby. Now, every day is a blessing. We enjoy hosting our son’s friends and filling our home with laughter. Our house has never been so lively.”

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